Ah, insomnia, it's been a while. I loath you, because you make everything worse. Fatigue, stress, pain, aches, clumsiness, everything. You even take away what little ability I have to concentrate... However, you make me realise how useful my iPad is. Like this blog post, I'm writing it while curled up on my bed as I'm much too warm. My window is opened wide, but there's no breeze tonight, so no cool air...
I haven't slept properly now since saturday and I'm starting to feel the effects. Everything hurts at the moment, skin, eyelashes, etc and I have minus levels of energy. It's horrible. Yesterday was an absolute nightmare, I had counselling first thing then work straight after. I can remember nothing about the day except for the vending machine in the hospital giving mum grief.
And today, all I can remember is the seemingly endless amount of work I had, which in the end I had help for (and will have to get the rest done tomorrow/today) which hopefully I'll have had some sleep by then. I'm starting to feel stressed too, not about work, but about hospital on Friday. A new hospital, another doctor telling me I need to loose weight, of course it's stressful. I hate hospitals, and I'm in them a lot...
Other than work, I don't know where today went. It's all a blur at the moment, which is not a good thing at all. I'm in one of those moments where I can't stand myself or being me. I want to be something, anything else, just so I can have a break... I managed to show all my holiday photos to a lady at work who had asked to see them too, and again, I wish I'd taken more...
But that brings me on to my iPad. I have never had a device or anything like this. It's something that allows me to communicate so effectively, and enables me to do things I'd otherwise struggle with. Sure it's not for everyone, but for me it's perfect. If only I could bung my t-mobile simcard in it, pair a Bluetooth headset and use it as a phone, then I wouldn't need anything else (well, maybe a jacket with bigger pockets!). Well, and my wallet, but technology wise I'd only need this.
Ah well, I'm feeling a bit miserable at the moment, away from Myriam, not feeling well, not liking the idea of a new hospital... Everything is very down at the moment and it's not good for me. Right, I'll try and get some sleep now and we'll see how Wednesday goes...
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