The 3DS...

Oh wow, I was very wrong. The auto-stereoscopic 3D, although nothing new, is very well implemented. It's incredibly headache inducing, but it's SO addictive to look at, even sitting on the menu watching the background... I'll say now, that I don't have any 3DS games, so I can't say how the auto-stereoscopic 3D works for 'actual games' so I'll just natter on about the hardware itself and (lack of) built in software.

DS Lite and Rockstar DSi

Coming from a DSi XL, going back down to a DS Lite (I tried to limit the use of my Rockstar DSi) and then jumping up to the 3DS was quite a leap. Fair enough, the screens are pretty small on the 3DS, but they're so much nicer than any other DS I've used before and a BILLION lightyears better than the DS Lite's. It's nice to see that Nintendo has actually thought that people will use this in other positions than "6 inches from face", like the DS Lite...

The 3DS hardware itself is amazingly solid, not creaky and weak feeling like the DS Lite/original DS, but a much more solid version of the DSi/DSi XL. The hardware is honestly in a league of it's own. One thing that really annoys me, however, is that the stylus still rattles about, but every single DS even from my original Japanese "phat" one has had this issue. It just makes me worry that it's going to fall out and get lost somewhere!

3DS Menu

When you first turn the 3DS on, it takes a monumental time to get to the setup screen. The setup is the fairly quick and painless "time, date, name, birthday" DS setup, and then it blows your mind with the auto-stereoscopic 3D calibration. The main, bottom-screen part of the 3DS' menu is very similar to the DSi's, but it can be customised quite a bit more, (how many rows of icons, etc) as well as having some dedicated icons along the top (brightness, icon size, friend list, "game notes", notifications and "web browser"). The parallax-barrier top screen, however, is where the magic happens. Every menu item has a 3D icon of some kind that is (of course) viewable in auto-stereoscopy. As a quick note, if you blow into the microphone, the top-screen 3D icons spin around, which is very cool!


One thing I have noticed, is that everything is "coming soon", from the web browser to even some system settings. This makes the menu system feel almost like a demo of the full version, and it's quite concerning that Nintendo have shipped it out with so many things 'missing'. Even some simple things, like data management are "coming in a future update"... However, Nintendo have said everything should be in place by May, including a "3DS e-store", which is quite nice. Lets just hope it's a proper "May" and not a Blizzard "May"!

Original DS games on the machine are fully playable and the games recognise the 3DS as a DSi, so features for Pokémon White/Black, etc, are all there, which is good. The only problem, as many have pointed out, is the software emulation upscaling Nintendo use for DS games. In a word, it's appalling. I don't know if it's the dithering they're using or what, but pixel-doubled or even resampling would be just fine. It's not a big factor though, as you can ignore it after a while!

The 3DS has some cool features like being able to take stereoscopic photos (soon to be stereoscopic video as well, apparently!) It also has Augmented Reality games, which are amazing, and are alone worth buying the system for (which Harry actually did!) The 3DS also has a built-in pedometer, which gives you a "play coin" for every 100 steps you take (however, you can only collect up to 10 coins a day) which is pretty good, because games can use these to unlock extras and it gives you an incentive to take your 3DS everywhere! You can collect a maximum of 300 coins, which would be 30 days worth (I think) Luckily, you can spend these coins on your Mii (in the Mii Plaza minigames) as well as for more Augmented Reality games, so you probably won't get to 300 coins!

As for the Miis, they're interesting and have an INCREDIBLE amount of customisation to them. I made Myriam and myself, just to see what they were like (I gave us both a favourite colour of purple, so our shirts match!) and the minigames you can play in Mii Plaza are interesting. There's Street-Pass Puzzle, which is where you get a puzzle piece from every other 3DS user you collect Miis from using the automated Street-Pass feature (clue is in the name, there...) and Street-Pass Quest, where you send Miis you've collected via Street-Pass to rescue your own Mii, who has been captured! Pretty strange, but cool none the less! I however have yet to pass someone with a 3DS, mainly because I don't go out that often!

Anyway, in closing, I really, really like the 3DS more than I thought I would, the auto-stereoscopic 3D is impressive, however, it's still a gimmick. I can't wait for more games that will show off the power of the thing and I'm looking forward to the "May Update". I'll end this post with some artsy-fartsy photos that I took on shutter-priority (as my shaky, deteriorating, nerve-damaged hands can't hold my Nikon for very long)

Looking Forward to the Weekend!

What's this? Two blog posts within a month of each other?! Shocking!

Well, I wanted to update, because Friday is the release of the 3DS and I'll need some serious hassling to write a blog post about mine (permitting Amazon pull through and get it to me!) because I'll probably be showing it around to my family (prying it off dad, no doubt) as well as playing Pokémon White again (at last). I want to at least put something on here about it, maybe some pictures or whatever as well as my thoughts compared to this post.

A quick bit of background on as to why I ordered the 3DS, My DSi XL had been abused, quite frankly, and my Action Replay had damaged the cartridge slot as I found out a couple of weeks ago. It got the point where the DSi XL would turn itself off if it was knocked or rattled while playing a game, this made it difficult when out and about with pokémon (in tag mode) or playing it the car on the way to hospital appointments!

Amazon were doing a deal where you trade in your "old" DSi XL and you got (almost) half the price off a 3DS. GAME were doing a similar deal, however, they would of course thoroughly check to make sure it was absolutely perfect before selling it on in store. Amazon use a "3rd party" trade company who will no doubt send it miles away and it has the potential to be "damaged in transit" I know it's bad, but I did lose out on the extra £20 game were offering... Anyway, the 3DS is costing me just over £100 and a new XL would cost me £150, makes sense really, plus it'll actually be supported for a couple of years... That's why I decided to order one.

I was skeptical of the 3DS, the auto-stereoscopy is just a gimmick and I couldn't care less about it, stereoscopic cameras are pointless and it's basically a way for nintendo to print more money. I ordered one (as I said, it was cheaper than a new XL) and then decided to research it. Some of it's "lesser known" features are amazing and look perfect to waste time with. I love the idea of other people "visiting" my 3DS and it doing updates and downloading new content automatically. What does seem weak is the battery, but if I can find my USB cable (or get a new one as they're £1...) I can use my Solio!

As you can tell, I'm quite excited about it, oddly, more so than I am about the iPad 2; which also comes out here in the UK on Friday. To me doesn't feel like much of an upgrade as it's just a speed bump and has cameras, plus I'm perfectly happy with mine (although iOS 4.3 has some "issues"). The 3DS is new and honestly, I want to get back into playing DS games. The thing is supposed to exceed the power of the Wii (which to be fair, isn't hard) and the games will only improve with time (plus, pokémon!) and there maybe even more surprises coming. So yes, I was skeptical, and I still am with regard to some things, but I have a higher opinion of it now; and who knows, I might even be wrong about the auto-stereoscopy (pfffft!)

Edit: Oh, I was wrong. Veeeeery wrong.

Memoirs of an Insomniac

At the time of starting this post, it's 3:48am, insert sharp inhale and slow exhale here. Basically, this morning is another night in the series of "nights that Sam hasn't slept" and more than anything, it's frustrating. A little scary, perhaps, but mostly frustrating. My pills wear off around this time and I start to get lost and alone, trapped inside the swirl of despair that is my mind. I don't like here, I don't like the sadness and the worries and the panic and the negativity, but I can't do anything about them. It dawns on me, that I'm reliant on pills and when on pills, I can bring optimism to others, but not to myself.

I wonder sometimes, what I've done to deserve this, to have had these series of events play out, one after another in the fashion of a sick joke. I still don't accept my "mental illness" even though everyone could guess, or would tell you that I was "a bit strange". I don't know what it is, or why, but I almost expect people to know what is going on in my head. If something comes out strangely or excitedly or worriedly, it might not mean that at all; it might just mean that I've been thinking about other things.

Now, I'm sitting on my bed, legs crossed with my iPad propped up in front of me. I'm tapping this out as though I was using a laptop, and sometimes my fingers will wander off on their own or not do what I tell them. It's a strange feeling, knowing where something is, telling you finger to press it and your finger doing something else. Is it my mind playing against me, is it "nerve damage" or am I subconsciously making my life deliberately more difficult for myself? I wish I knew.

I have no great story of rising to power, falling and trying to pick myself up again. It's simply: I was born this way, no-one listened, I accepted it, then several years later I was told I was right. Sadly, I was told I was right much too late and midway through a sudden decline that I couldn't handle; in fact, I still can't. People say to me "what are you taking, I want some!" but it's not that simple, you need to have the piece of paper and the label that go with the pills; that's the hard part. I have a shopping list of pills, literally £100+ a month without my prepay card (and now, free, thanks to benefits), so how would I narrow it down anyway?

Anyway, what was I talking about? I knew I wanted to write something here, but I have forgotten. Couldn't have been important. Then, I'll get back to the thoughts of someone who is mentally and physically ill. In a perpetual cycle of genetic issues that, like ouroboros, eat away at themselves with no loss or gain; I find my thoughts to be the same. What affects do I have on peoples' lives, what does it matter? Out of six point whatever billion people, there is bound to be another someone who's like me, maybe ten, maybe a whole colony of Sams. Who knows. So if I disappeared today or tomorrow, I could be easily replaced, especially thanks to the theory of the six ways of separation, or whatever it's called.

No, I'm not writing my own obituary or a suicide note here, I'm just ranting and raving about nothing because I can't sleep. I can't do other basic things anymore, either, but it's only sleep that bugs me. It's now 4:21am and I feel as though I have gotten nowhere, which is true, I guess, although I have shuffled about a bit as my ankles like to pop out if I sit on them too long. My chest still hurts from being battered about on the train when I went to UCL on Thursday, it felt like I was being winded repeatedly and now I ache.

I worry, that when I won't be sleeping alone, I'll still have these periods of increasing fuzziness and melancholic apathy. And if I do, what would that person think if she found out, or woke up while I was in one of these states? I don't know. I don't even know how I'd react, really, if someone else appeared while I felt like this. The PS3 has just turned on and checked for downloads, so it must be 4:30 or there abouts. Do I bother sleeping, only to get up in about 4 maybe 5 hours time, or do I push through and make myself thoroughly ill, worse than how I felt earlier tonight?

Anyway, this is turning stranger and stranger by the minute and might turn into a tunnel that bores into the centre of Tim Burton's psyche, or some other place equally as fucked up, like Narnia. I'll leave this here for people to absorb, dissect, compare, contrast and criticise, because I'm sure I'll get one or two "concerned" talks about it, at least I hope so, so I can see what people think of what my mind is like when addled by the lack of important chemicals.

So in closing: A cat is fine, too.

And So! It Has Been a While!

Almost 4 months since I've written an entry here, and I feel a little bit bad about that! Stanmore was an adventure and I did manage to blog it all! The link I'd in the post before this, I think it still works! After Stanmore there was my almost two month long struggle with flu as well as some laziness on my part (no denying that!) and work related stress thanks to me being off sick for almost a year!

My interest in World of Warcraft has dwindled somewhat, after levelling a Paladin to 85. I've moved toward the books and comics now as I love the lore and the stories, but I can't be assed to play it anymore! Which reminds me, I need to see if there are kindle versions of the novels that I can read on my iPad (as my hands are still getting worse and I can't cope with books anymore) Speaking of reading, I also need to do more of that, too!

Well, that's me practically up to date. There's a new Pokémon game out on the DS that I'm currently playing through (well, trying, as my DSi XL is busted and has a lose cartridge slot) I also have Rune Factory 2 and Secret Window on the DS and a BOATLOAD of games on Steam to play. I might look into getting a new XL, because I love the size of it and I can't cope with the smaller ones anymore; plus I'm not that interested in the 3DS due to it's gimmick and price tag.

Over the last few months, I've come to talk to a wide variety of people of people on Twitter and all of them are amazing. Most of them have conditions similar to mine, or share a similar (twisted) mindset. I am grateful for finding all these people (or them finding me) as there's a huge bank of knowledge and experience and help there. Even just to have a friendly chat and a mess about, it's welcoming.

Myriam, like me, is having difficulties with her hands lately and I'm finding it really saddening. She's limited herself to an hour or there abouts online, which means I don't get as much time to talk to her as I want to. However, I've bought her the new Mac OS, so she can use FaceTime to call me so we can talk rather than type (AIM is crap for that) plus then she can call my iPhone and we can FaceTime over that, too. I really miss her and I feel that part of me is slipping away the less I talk to her, so I don't mind sending her $35 if it means we can talk more.

Going back to my health and such junk, I've been building muscle, but I haven't managed to lose any weight somehow, which I really can't understand. Life at the moment is frustrating and hard, even though I'm not working, it's almost become a joke trying to do certain things and I feel ashamed to have to ask for help. No one should have to ask for help to get out of a chair or to make simple food (like a sandwich). I've even moved back to two crutches, as it's easier for me to balance when I have to go anywhere.

As for my madness, I attend a group therapy session. It's art based so I get to draw and paint ("paint what you feel") and I'm not judged so it's really calm and relaxing, until the loud people start to get louder that is! I'm a loud "confident" person, according to most people, but I'm not really. Deep down I'm just a girl guy who would rather deflect attention somewhere else, especially because I hate being with people. I get panicky and anxious, so I get "confident" and loud to cover it up. I hate it, because it's not me.

Anyway, I think I've ranted enough for another four months or so, so I'll leave it here! The things I write at 2am, eh?