For Those Who Read This!

I have a new blog for my hospital trip, it's here please follow it/read it/whatever as it'll hopefully be interesting!

In other news, I have started World of Warcraft again, thanks to Cataclysm making everything new (I've literally played for 2 days and have a level 30 already!) But as I'm going into hospital today, I'll miss out on the launch of Cataclysm tomorrow as well as about a week of my two weeks free! But not to worry, it'll give me more time to think it over. I have a lot more of a "I don't really care" attitude about it now and it's making it a lot more enjoyable (plus the new stuff helps!) Also on videogames, Gran Turismo 5 exists and I've been playing it! Is it as good as I hoped? No. Can it be improved so it's as good as I hoped? Yes. So here's hoping!

Myriam sent me two boxes of presents this year (plus one for the rest of the family) and as always it's cheered me up a bit! The plus (which no doubt I'll take photos of) will be joining me on my hospital adventure with the Chococat she got me earlier in the year! She also got me some buckyballs, which are addicting as hell, they're just little magnet things, but damn! I also got some very rare and expensive magic cards too, but I haven't had chance to use them. They're primed and waiting though, waiting for prey...

Not much else to say on that front, except that it's now 5:30am (!!) and I'll be leaving in about an hour and a bit to get to the hospital. Hugh sigh. I have with me: Macbook Pro, iPad, iPhone and my EyeTV tuner and I think that's all I'm taking in the form of tech. I have LOADS of movies on my Macbook, which I can transfer to the iPad and watch in the "sun room" (not that there'll be much sun, of course) so yeah! Plus, I have a BOATLOAD of games on both Steam and the iPad/iPhone to keep me occupied! I just wish World of Warcraft had an offline mode, but I'll make do...

Anyway, I had better make sure everything is up to date on here (such as Steam or it'll bitch at me when I try to use it offline at the hospital!) and I'm going to go have Supernoodles for breakfast, because 1, I can and 2, I am STARVING and will be in the car for two hours and won't know when I'll be able to eat next. I might simul-update this blog with the medical one, so no-one is left out from my suffering. We'll seen! TTFN

Not Feeling Well...

It's one of those days today. I had a rough night last night with sleep and pain and what not and I woke up this morning feeling terrible. I can honestly say that I haven't had a day like this for a while. I've had days where mentally I felt like shit (because that's most days) but I haven't had a proper fucked from fatigue day. Today is a fucked from fatigue day. I had a mixed day yesterday where I was hyper and depressed at the same time, however it did allow me to get my laptop upgrades done, but I'll talk about them later.

For the last couple of weeks I have wanted to go to the cinema, but there has been nothing on that interests me. I would like to see Legend of the Guardians, but that's in 3D only (I don't like 3D films). I'd like to see Let Me In, but I have the original, which is supposed to be better. And I want to see Harry Potter when it comes out, but I know it'll be incredibly busy. There's also the "someone to go with" problem, if only Myriam was here, or if Harry took some holiday from work! I'm not sure I could convince him to go to the cinema to see the films I want though!

Parcels arrived this morning were Nier and Bro's Christmas present (which, rather annoyingly was bent in half to fit through the letterbox... It's ok, but the back cover is a bit creased). Nier is in the PS3 and I'm looking forward to playing it. Apparently it's quite a simple game, but the story is good and that's all that really matters as long as the gameplay is manageable!

Yesterday my Macbook's recognition parts and loads of Magic cards arrived. So all was good, as I spent a day clearing out my Macbook both digitally and physically. I might go over the fans again and clean them out properly as it still seems to be running a bit hot. The reason I wanted more RAM for Mac OS is because 10.6 seems to ignore 1gb of your ram, so when it gets to that cap, it starts to page and become catastrophic in performance. It turns out that this was a mega bug introduced in 10.6.4 and is now fixed thanks to 10.6.5 which came out last night! But not to worry, more RAM never hurt anyone, and now my Macbook is completely maxed out with only an SSD to go to improve performance (but for the £1000 or whatever, I'd probably just get a whole new one!)

The weather today is abysmal, I can hear the wind and rain beating viciously against the double glazing in my room, which has make it impossible to sleep. So I think I will get some food and try to make the most of it (read: playing Nier). Things are slowly starting to piss me off, but not in a bad way (if that makes sense). I don't really care about politics or religion, because people are allowed to believe whatever they want and whatever happens will happen. It's just lately, both of those issues have really been thrown at me quite hard and repeatedly. It's starting to feel like being punched in the face when laying on the floor, so my face is a bloody mush. Not pleasant, I know, but still!

Back to health stuff now. In three weeks I go to Stanmore. I don't want to go. Not because of what I'm going to have to do there, but because the hospital reminds me of the one from Silent Hill and I don't like people. Ok, I've been told that my pain will be "believed" but the pain I can deal with, it doesn't need to be believed, as I've lived with it this long, I know it's real. The thing I'm most worried about is my fatigue and not knowing when to stop. Will that be addressed at Stanmore? Will I be allowed a whole day to sleep/relax? I doubt it. But we'll see.

I was at the doctors on Monday, to get a new sick note and to ask about my finger (which is feeling a bit better after a few days in a splint and being given rest) and found out that I have lost even more weight! However, quite honestly, I'm sick of this hospital culture I seem to be in at the moment. I'm either talking to a GP or seeing some specialist somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be seeing them and I'm grateful for the help I receive, I just wish I didn't need it. I also hate all this campaigning for the disabled, fair enough, some acknowledgement would be nice and recognition for my conditions would be great, but I feel, again like with politics at the moment, that it's beating my face in.

So far, although I'm writing this blog post on my iPad (I cannot wait for iOS 4.2, which is supposed to land tomorrow), it has still taken me three hours to write this as I have taken a lot of breaks from it and kept coming back! This is why I don't update often, because it takes a huge amount of time! But not to worry, I'm sure to have a lot of it in the coming weeks, being at Stanmore, which I will be doing a day-to-day "report" on, here in the land of 0 comments! (Maybe I should name my blog that, hmm...)

I need to blog more

And that's a fact! Just a quick update from me, 4 weeks time I'll be in hospital, bleh, I hate that idea. However, I am expecting some rather tasty parcels to arrive in the next couple of days! Loads of Magic the Gathering cards, a 4gb sodimm and a new 500gb harddrive for my mac and a game for the PS3, which was reduced by 80%! (it's Nier, which I've played on the xbox and quite liked, so that's good!)

Also, I should soon be getting my "order" from Myriam, several more MtG cards and a Blu-ray I can't wait to get my hands on! I can't wait for that parcel, sadly the Christmas one will arrive while I'm locked away in some rehab clinic for "rare illnesses" rehabilitation. Beh.

Anyway, it's 3am, I should really be sleeping. Curse you pain, in your various, shitty, forms, curse you.

NO CHRISTMAS?! (and other overreactions)

Got a phone call today, I'm going to "The Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital" at Stanmore from December 6 to December 24. I feel bad that Dad will have to drive for over an hour on Christmas Eve to come and pick me up from hospital, I can imagine he'd rather be drinking (more) red wine (than he normally drinks). It's going to really suck. At first I was all "omgnochristmas!!" when I was told the start date; but yeah, lucky that Christmas falls on a Saturday this year!

And so, I shall be off to "The Land of No Internet or Phone Reception" pretty damn soon.

Bollocks.

Such a Long List!

Once in a blue moon time again! I'm back from the land completely devoid of all technology and radio waves and I'm very grateful. Stanmore's rehabilitation centre has only one TV and a miserable two bars of phone signal that's barely 3G. The sleeping arrangements are communal but split into sexes, like a military bunk or some sort of dorm, the thought is terrifying. Knowing I'll have to live there for 3 weeks is not a good feeling. Luckily, however, I was told that the waiting list is now fairly long thanks to similar centres shutting and I might not get in there for a couple of months! There was a long talk, and apparently, they've had people with EDS and Marfans before, so I'll be well catered for. This is all fine, but it's the area and the building I don't like.

Anyway, I am relieved. I can take my laptop, phone, iPad, anything I want really and I won't be starting next week. Phew, sigh of relief, etc.

My visit with Occupational Health wasn't too bad either, yesterday. I just talked to the doctor for a bit and she said she needed to get information from Stanmore after I had been before making a decision, so once again, everything rests on those three weeks. Yesterday, I had a quick round of shopping. I bought myself a couple of Magic 2010 boosters and a tiny Chococat that I found in a comic store, which was awesome. I love that shop! I wanted to go to the sushi restaurant for lunch, but it wasn't open (we were there too early) so no Salmon ikuradon for me! When I got home, I opened the boosters and found not only a foil card in each, but a mythic rare in one of them! Lucky!

I'll talk quickly about Fallout New Vegas, or "the unplayable game" as I like to call it. Every time I've tried to play the game, it has bugged in some way that breaks the game. I've had underground mobs, floating mobs, a jumping gun/pip-boy that breaks everything as well as odd little things. I have no idea what Obsidian Entertainment are doing about this, but so far it seems to be "nothing". The PC version is taking priority as it's the most broken, seeing as the release edition had a corrupt file which made everything screw up... I have the PS3 version and it's shocking that it got released in such a condition and I don't want to play it, before it's patched and working. Will that happen? I have no idea, lots of people are taking it back for refunds though and I don't blame them.

To distract me from my sheer disappointment at Fallout New Vegas I have been playing more Minecraft. This is a game that is in "alpha stage" and has next to no serious bugs. It's currently coded by a single man rather than a team of over 100 people... It makes me wonder if Obsidian/Bethesda are just out for money, because it looks like it. The halloween update for Red Dead Redemption came out this week too, I have it (as it was this week's PSN+ offer and I had that much on PSN already) but I haven't played it yet. From what I have heard, it's fantastic, so I might give it a go later today!

Nothing much to report other than that, so once again I slink off to the void! (plus I woke up late this morning, so I am really tired now...)

Medicals and Stanmore...

I haven't written one of these in what feels like ages (not a real one anyway). This morning (it's 1am now) I will be seeing an Occupational Health doctor for the first time instead of a nurse; so hopefully, I should get somewhere toward a decision as to if I can do my job or not. Seeing as I've been off sick nearly half a year now, my GP, my boss and I all feel that I can't. Hopefully, this doc will agree. I'm also hoping that this medical won't be a repeat of the ATOS "IT Services" ones, either.

Also this week, Friday, I will be heading back to Stanmore for a 2 hour induction! This 'induction' should be my start into being admitted there for three weeks and I'm dreading it. What am I going to do for 3 weeks without my MacBook Pro, iPhone, iPad and most importantly, the Internet?! Good god. Maybe I can smuggle the iPad in as an "ereader" no-one at a hospital will know what an iPad is, right? Maybe I'll be able to smuggle in my messenger bag with all my stuff in... Maybe...

Anyway, not much else to say on this front, except that my knees are getting worse and I can barely stand most of the time; but who knows what'll happen at Stanmore, they might give me new legs or something! (one can dream right?) Bedtime for me, as I need to be up in about 6 hours to see Dr Rost, I hope she's understanding!

Quick Edit: If I have internet access at Stanmore, then yes, I will blog my adventures! If I don't get precious tubes then I'll save it all up (I'll type on my iPhone/iPad if I have them) and blog at the weekends (as I'll be allowed home!) Still hating the idea of travelling all the way to Stanmore though!

Elves!

No, not Santa's helpers; I'm not blogging about Christmas The Holiday That Shall Not Be Named just yet (It's still October, for fuck's sake)! I mean the 'real' Elves, tall, slender creatures (Marfans/Williams?) with longbows and pointed ears. I love elves, I think most people love elves; but they are arrogant things most of the time. I've always thought of elves to be a race that people would aspire to be like, strangely; like a sort of pinnacle existence. However, I've noticed these days that they're very much an overlooked thing. In videogames they always seem to be dying out or oppressed or slaves in some way and I don't think this is very fair.

Take Nintendo's Legend of Zelda series, the main race of the game are Hylians. Aren't they elves? The main character looks very much like one to me, but then again, what do I know? I love playing as elves in videogames, and the only notable exception I can think of is Oblivion and Morrowind. I didn't like the elves at all in either of those games for some reason, they seemed very un-elflike, even though elves themselves are fictional... Weird, I know. There needs to be more games and books about elves, that is, ancient, immortal elves. There are all these tails of how elves were corrupted and how they want to reclaim what's theirs, but what about the stories of when it was theirs in the first place?

Since I've started Magic (oh god, not Magic, again) I've been trying to draw away from obsessing over elves, but I couldn't hide it when I learnt just how broken they were. Elves work in groups, loads of them. There are elves that can bring out other elves, elves that can empower other elves, elves that give you health for every elf that's out, even the elf planeswalker can bring out every elf in your library. In standard, elves aren't really a force, in fact they're quite weak and this is the same in constructed and legacy. However, in casual play where any cards go, elves are unstoppable. I've already pre-vowed not to use the deck I'm building 'seriously' because I don't see how it can be beaten at all.

 I'll get to writing a 'proper' blog post later as I have lots of things to talk about, but for now, elves, yay.

A Trip to (New) Vegas!

Yay, Fallout New Vegas comes out on friday and I can't wait! I'm looking forward to getting shot in the head and making my way across the Mojave wasteland in search of whatever it was I was supposed to do before I was shot in the head! Sounds exciting! Of course, I will play on "Hardcore" mode to search for water and sleep and stuff like that; maybe I'll make the character like me, no stamina, high fatigue, constant health loss due to pain... On second thoughts, no.

And at the Crack of Dawn...

...I was awake!

I'm still awake now, actually. I've watched a couple of films on my Apple TV, tweeted (a lot), played some games and surfed the Internet. I haven't moved from my bed at all in that time and I've only touched two devices. In all honesty, it could've been done with one, but I wanted to multitask. I think it's incredible what mobile phones can do these days and I think it's incredible what Apple have managed to do with those "set standards" there's a reason why people use iPhones and iPads, it's because they work and they're great at what the do. It's been nearly a week since I got my iPhone and honestly, it's made me use my phone more. It's also made me appreciate the huge screen on the iPad a lot more too! Sure the iPad might not have a "retina" display or a camera (or two) or a cellular data system (I'm cheap, mine's only a wifi iPad) but as a mobile computer, it's perfect. Before getting my iPhone, I was worried that it would encroach on the iPad's space, but it hasn't - it's strange. Fair enough I'm using my iPhone to write this, but that's because my hands ache and holding a phone is easier; I'm still using the same app.

Right, it's 8:22 now and I've been up since 4:50. Last night, I was feeling so ill that I had to go to sleep, it was horrible. I had just walked to the shop with mum to get some drinks (Capri-sun pouches and Oceanspray cranberry juice) and I decided to have a bath and relax. I was feeling pretty rough when in the shop, but the bath magnified things a hundred fold. I think it was about 8 or 9 pm when I went to sleep, so I got a good 8 hours (ish) sleep. So, why do I still feel like shit? I think this week is a flare up, probably for POTS and maybe EDS, which will probably show itself as ME/CFS symptoms. Suck. So yeah, today I'm staying in bed. At least, I would, but I have the doctors this afternoon. Asking for stronger painkillers and more of my lithium substitute/flesh eating Bipolar medication. I haven't got my new prescription prepay card yet, so it'll cost me money, eugh.

Hopefully today will be good to me and manifest itself as parcel day. I'm waiting for my White iPhone Bumper from Apple and about 3/4 orders from Manaleak. I've ordered a box from Manaleak to hold my now vast Magic the Gathering collection, so that will give me something to do today while I sit in bed before seeing the doc this afternoon. Why am I so excited about receiving a box?! Bizarre! I have some cards for Harry coming too, I ordered him the Planeswalker he has been after for ages as well as 4 copies of Bladed Pinions, as his deck really lacks flying defence. As for my cards, I have a Scars of Mirrodin booster, 100 random scars cards, some free ones and a deck box coming (in addition to the huge box) as well as more soft card protectors. I like the soft ones because they're cheap and they almost give a laminated feel once the cards are in them which is nice!

During my adventures on Twitter, I quite often write silly little one line letters, my "letters to nobody" as I call them. It's come to my attention that people are copying these, which is awesome, but by thunder they need to be formatted correctly! For example:

Dear Johnson & Johnson,

Swilling Listerine for 30 seconds, seriously? I can feel my skin melting!

Love Sam

Now I know Twitter.com formats these as single-line, but apps (such as Twiterrific) display them properly. I'm not whinging (I totally am), but please, please, please write them as letters! Anyway, that's my self-indulgence done for this morning, hopefully I can update this later with my deliveries (yay, photos, etc) as I want to put on here what rares (if any) I get from my Scars booster and a picture of my iPhone in the bumper! Fingers crossed!

11:30am edit: iPhone 4 Bumper has arrived, woo! Here's some (hastily shot) photos of it, apologies for the crap angles, I had to prop the camera up (it's getting a bit too heavy for my shitty hands...)

Side View

Bottom View

No iPhone 4 You!

Hah, the title is a pun! Very good, carry on.

So, finally, my T-Mobile contract renewal rolled round, at the stroke of 12:01am this morning I checked the T-Mobile website and nothing... All the way up to 1am, nothing. Even sending "up" to 150 was a string of "blahblah, error, we can't get your details" until eventually I got into the system and it let me pick an upgrade! Oh, a choice of 21 phones that frankly suck because they're not the one I want. So, bugger. I was pretty fed up and annoyed and depressed, etc, etc. I've been looking forward to having an iPhone again for months and it was snatched away at the last moment. I sent a snappy DM to T-Mobile's (awesome) customer services, to which they replied hurriedly this morning, telling me that I can have one, but the website is a bit funny. Beh.

I got that DM when I was in the car, heading to Chelmsford, as I had my Medical with ATOS today, and it sucked, hard. I hate talking to new doctors who aren't very keen to do the job they're paid for. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I can think of better things to be doing rather than being prodded and poked at 9am (hint: lots of Zs involved). The whole building was like this surreal clusterfuck of a hospital and a military installation, it was bizarre, I didn't like being in there at all, creepy. Once I got out of there, I asked if we could stop off at T-Mobile up town, and so we did.

The shop was at least 100˚F, at least. It was like a tropical island in there! But anyway, went through the motions, signed a new contract, paid them £99 and walked out with a shiny new iPhone 4. That was easy! Damn, it really was easy. My old simcard in my Nexus One was killed pretty much immediately and the micro one for the iPhone 4 was activated, however, iPhones need to be activated by iTunes, so I had no phone until I got home (gasp!). Well, the phone is now activated and it's piping music out of my Sony speakers (which is my alarm clock) Wonderful! Now I just need to chop up some music in GarageBand and make some ringtones for it! Haha!

iPhone 4!

My iPhone's locksreen wallpaper is awesome, I've got it set to Bryan Lee O'Malley's latest Scott Pilgrim poster and it looks absolutely amazing. I can't believe how good it looks on this screen, but then again, the iPhone 4's screen is mindblowing. There's a quick photo to the side there! The whole feel of the phone compared to the original iPhone I have is worlds apart, absolutely incredible. It feels like a solid block of glass with a strip of metal wrapped around it, it really has a premium quality about it. I am so pleased, even if I am locked into a two year contract with T-Mobile. Their support and network have been really good to me so far, so I don't really mind! Unlimited internet, text messages and 600 minutes - £35 a month, fantastic!

I also received a huge parcel of Magic the Gathering cards and a Pac-Man T-shirt (which no-one has commented on yet!) today too. I got lots of Myrs and lots of misc things, but not my Scars of Mirrodin set, which is a shame, because I really wanted to set up some serious combos to play against Harry tomorrow! Well, I'll have a quick run through what cards I got and see what I can use in the place of my more serious cards that I have ordered!

Phew. It's like 3pm now and I haven't eaten all day (I started this at like 2...). I feel hungry, but at the same time, I'm not. Beh, I might wait for dinner. Hopefully it'll be something awesome like chilli, I love chilli.