I keep getting asked "why haven't you updated your blog?" or told "update your blog!" so here goes!
At the moment, the home broadband is down (again) so my iPad is currently tethered to my phone and I'm blogging over T-mobile's HSDPA network, which seems to be a bit slow this morning...
Luckily, my pneumonia is gone and it's left me with congested sinuses a cough and muffled ears, but I expect that to go soon. At work, starting this week I'm back to being full time, much to my dismay, but the extra money will be nice (as more money is always nice!) I don't know how much longer I'll be working though, with all this talk of ill-health retirement. I don't think I have long left to be honest...
Today, I'll be spending the day with Harry, it's a bit belated, but only because he couldn't make Saturday. I have no idea what we're going to do today, as it's a bank holiday, but I do have some stuff I want to get from town.
I might pick up Red Dead Redemption, but I'm still undecided about it. I'm not too keen on westerns after all, so the whole setting will be lost on me. I might also get Book of Eli on bluray/DVD combo if it's available, as I quite enjoyed it when I saw it on the plane.
Speaking of games, I've been playing the hell out of Torchlight lately. The game is a 'simple' roguelike that's been updated to 3D with the addition of a main town/quest hub and random dungeons. It feels a bit like World of Warcraft just scaled down, but that's not a bad thing! I want to play it more, but it's having the time! I just don't seem to have the time to do anything lately and I have no idea why...
Well, here's to a nice relaxing day today. I'm not too keen on the idea of work tomorrow, but work to me is synonymous with "struggle" lately, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. Huge sigh.
Monday, 31 May 2010
Friday, 28 May 2010
6:36am Realisations
I've been up over 2 hours now, I made myself a cup of tea and downed some painkillers to take the edge off this sheer pain I seem to be feeling at the moment. I finished my tea and decided not to bother trying to sleep again, so I queued up some movies and kicked back.
During watching Princess and the Frog earlier, I thought to myself "I wish I could watch this with Myriam" and then it hit me just how much I miss her. I miss her insane warmth and her flailing arms and legs when we slept together, I miss the way the pillows smelt of her hair and mostly I miss her company and the closeness I had with her. On top of feeling ill I ache for her to be near me and I have no idea how she can cope with this.
I keep saying repeatedly that something feels missing and I realise now, that it's the constant touching and attention I got from her. Feeling as though I was the only person in the world and I loved that, I loved being adored by her and it makes me sad that at times I couldn't show her the same even though I most certainly felt it.
This last couple of weeks, being rather sick, my sense of time and reality has been a bit warped - I seem to react to things slower and be unable to think properly, all I can do is whinge and I don't deny it. I whinge a lot anyway, but everything that comes out of my mouth these last two weeks has either been a groan of some kind, frustration-laced nonsense or just place nastiness and I hate it. I also can't blow my nose fast enough before it's congested again, I can't taste anything, my hearing is muffled, my chest aches and hurts when I breathe and I just can't seem to get enough air most of the time. I hate this so much.
So now how do I feel? I feel alone, upset and sick. I feel upset that Myriam isn't within walking distance, she's 3600 miles away, which in turn makes me feel really alone, without that adoration and constant acknowledgement I miss. And no matter how hard I try, I'm still sick and I've never been this sick before, but at least I'm getting the hang of using an inhaler...
I'm watching 2012 now, feeling the distance even more. I'm also starting to feel that my life isn't fair, even after the saying "life isn't fair" I feel that mine is doubly unfair. I want to be selfish and say that I'd like Myriam to live here, but I honestly don't mind what happens. I don't care where, just as long as it's with her.
It's 7:04am now, I feel no better for writing this and I am still coughing my head off. I'm going to the hospital this afternoon to get some surgical insoles made and other than that I'm going to make a pasta bake for lunch (hopefully) and have a huge glass of iced tea. I might ask Myriam to get me some of the Lipton To Go sachets and send them over, so that I have iced tea whenever I want.
I love you Myriam, even if I have difficulty showing it at times and right now, I miss you. It feels like I have a hole in my chest that I can't fill no matter how hard I try.
During watching Princess and the Frog earlier, I thought to myself "I wish I could watch this with Myriam" and then it hit me just how much I miss her. I miss her insane warmth and her flailing arms and legs when we slept together, I miss the way the pillows smelt of her hair and mostly I miss her company and the closeness I had with her. On top of feeling ill I ache for her to be near me and I have no idea how she can cope with this.
I keep saying repeatedly that something feels missing and I realise now, that it's the constant touching and attention I got from her. Feeling as though I was the only person in the world and I loved that, I loved being adored by her and it makes me sad that at times I couldn't show her the same even though I most certainly felt it.
This last couple of weeks, being rather sick, my sense of time and reality has been a bit warped - I seem to react to things slower and be unable to think properly, all I can do is whinge and I don't deny it. I whinge a lot anyway, but everything that comes out of my mouth these last two weeks has either been a groan of some kind, frustration-laced nonsense or just place nastiness and I hate it. I also can't blow my nose fast enough before it's congested again, I can't taste anything, my hearing is muffled, my chest aches and hurts when I breathe and I just can't seem to get enough air most of the time. I hate this so much.
So now how do I feel? I feel alone, upset and sick. I feel upset that Myriam isn't within walking distance, she's 3600 miles away, which in turn makes me feel really alone, without that adoration and constant acknowledgement I miss. And no matter how hard I try, I'm still sick and I've never been this sick before, but at least I'm getting the hang of using an inhaler...
I'm watching 2012 now, feeling the distance even more. I'm also starting to feel that my life isn't fair, even after the saying "life isn't fair" I feel that mine is doubly unfair. I want to be selfish and say that I'd like Myriam to live here, but I honestly don't mind what happens. I don't care where, just as long as it's with her.
It's 7:04am now, I feel no better for writing this and I am still coughing my head off. I'm going to the hospital this afternoon to get some surgical insoles made and other than that I'm going to make a pasta bake for lunch (hopefully) and have a huge glass of iced tea. I might ask Myriam to get me some of the Lipton To Go sachets and send them over, so that I have iced tea whenever I want.
I love you Myriam, even if I have difficulty showing it at times and right now, I miss you. It feels like I have a hole in my chest that I can't fill no matter how hard I try.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Living with the iPad + Games!
I thought I'd write an update about living with the iPad. First of all, I've found uses for this thing that I didn't realise needed uses. It's literally the perfect size to travel anywhere with and the screen is just amazing. I did a dodgy little drawing on it earlier and when I was drawing I realised how perfect the screen was, it's viewable from virtually any angle and the colours are so clear and crisp - it wasn't like I was drawing on a screen at all!
I've noticed that sometimes the iPad will autocorrect to the American spelling of words and then will mark them as a spelling error, weird...
I love my iPad, and I hope everyone who gets one friday at the uk launch loves theirs just as much! I'm currently addicted to Need for Speed Shift and Plants Vs Zombies, both games are fantastic, although NFS does annoy the sin out of me sometimes thanks to it's weird assistances (that I can't be bothered to turn off) Also, looking at the Fedex tracker, I should get my new iPad case soon! I'll put some photos of it up when it's here.
Steam for Mac, I have LOADS of games on Steam now, Portal I already had (so I missed out on it being free) and now I have Braid, Torchlight, Altitude and the Civilisation IV collection.
Torchlight is an amazing little game, it's very much like a nethack/roguelike type game, where you keep going down floors of a dungeon, but it's fantastic. There's something about it I just adore. I've also managed to get Harry addicted to it too - I think he likes the fact that armour looks different and the sheer amount of loot is awesome.
Braid is amazing, I already own it on the PS3 (Thanks to PSN) but I wanted to play it on my Mac (properly and not a dodgy windows port), so I've bought it on Steam ready to play when I get the chance. It's a lovely little time manipulation based puzzle platformer that I've never gotten the chance to sit down and play properly. I'll always give it 5/10 minutes and leave it for ages, so I need to get on that very soon.
Civ IV I bought because I longed for an RTS game like Age of Empires, Civ IV is turn-based though, so it's a little bit different and rather difficult for me to get my head round - it's a game I need to dedicate a day to playing so I can get the hang of it!
I've noticed that sometimes the iPad will autocorrect to the American spelling of words and then will mark them as a spelling error, weird...
I love my iPad, and I hope everyone who gets one friday at the uk launch loves theirs just as much! I'm currently addicted to Need for Speed Shift and Plants Vs Zombies, both games are fantastic, although NFS does annoy the sin out of me sometimes thanks to it's weird assistances (that I can't be bothered to turn off) Also, looking at the Fedex tracker, I should get my new iPad case soon! I'll put some photos of it up when it's here.
Steam for Mac, I have LOADS of games on Steam now, Portal I already had (so I missed out on it being free) and now I have Braid, Torchlight, Altitude and the Civilisation IV collection.
Torchlight is an amazing little game, it's very much like a nethack/roguelike type game, where you keep going down floors of a dungeon, but it's fantastic. There's something about it I just adore. I've also managed to get Harry addicted to it too - I think he likes the fact that armour looks different and the sheer amount of loot is awesome.
Braid is amazing, I already own it on the PS3 (Thanks to PSN) but I wanted to play it on my Mac (properly and not a dodgy windows port), so I've bought it on Steam ready to play when I get the chance. It's a lovely little time manipulation based puzzle platformer that I've never gotten the chance to sit down and play properly. I'll always give it 5/10 minutes and leave it for ages, so I need to get on that very soon.
Civ IV I bought because I longed for an RTS game like Age of Empires, Civ IV is turn-based though, so it's a little bit different and rather difficult for me to get my head round - it's a game I need to dedicate a day to playing so I can get the hang of it!
Friday, 21 May 2010
Last Day in America
I feel quite sad, frustrated and annoyed all at the same time.
First of all I'm sad because I'm really going to miss Myriam when I leave this time, it's going to be so difficult this time round.
I'm frustrated because I have bacterial pneumonia and I'm fed up of being sick, I find it hard enough to live anyway, I don't need this crap on top of it. It's a joke!
And finally I'm annoyed because yet again Mr Coward Labbé can't man up to me and instead has to piss off his wife (who I adore) and Myriam. I wish I could apologise on his behalf, but then I remember just what an asshole he is.
Luckily the ride to the airport is only going to cost me $30 this time (a $100 fare was a bit of a shock after a 12 hour flight let me tell you...)
First of all I'm sad because I'm really going to miss Myriam when I leave this time, it's going to be so difficult this time round.
I'm frustrated because I have bacterial pneumonia and I'm fed up of being sick, I find it hard enough to live anyway, I don't need this crap on top of it. It's a joke!
And finally I'm annoyed because yet again Mr Coward Labbé can't man up to me and instead has to piss off his wife (who I adore) and Myriam. I wish I could apologise on his behalf, but then I remember just what an asshole he is.
Luckily the ride to the airport is only going to cost me $30 this time (a $100 fare was a bit of a shock after a 12 hour flight let me tell you...)
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Illness and Injuries
This last week for injuries, what can I say... Well, first of all, how about the fact I wrote out a huge blog post just now and thanks to a Blogger error, I just lost it! Anyway...
So far on my trip to America this year, I have managed to break a metatarsal in my right foot (that's the really bad foot anyway), get laryngitis/bronchitis/whatever (through which I've lost my voice) and managed to get concussion somehow...
Myriam managed to elbow me in the nose by accident this morning, which my have attributed to the concussion, but I'm not sure. I think these accidents and injuries are down to balance, as I managed to get to America in the first place and being one of very few flights to come from the uk!
Hopefully Blogger will work this time round, but I have saved the post this time...
So far on my trip to America this year, I have managed to break a metatarsal in my right foot (that's the really bad foot anyway), get laryngitis/bronchitis/whatever (through which I've lost my voice) and managed to get concussion somehow...
Myriam managed to elbow me in the nose by accident this morning, which my have attributed to the concussion, but I'm not sure. I think these accidents and injuries are down to balance, as I managed to get to America in the first place and being one of very few flights to come from the uk!
Hopefully Blogger will work this time round, but I have saved the post this time...
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Non-Holiday Related Blogging!
So, Steam for Mac is out now and I'm currently downloading Portal (albeit slowly thanks to hotel wifi!) so I'll give a proper test when it's done! Harry also linked me to some indie games that are "pay however much you like" I paid $10 for them all but after realising just what I got, it made me wonder if I should've paid a bit more! I'll probably put out an update about them as I play them (well, manage to download them!)
iPad is going strong, I've been pretty addicted to the thing, there's no denying that at all. It's virtually perfect at doing everything I want it to do, the only thing that really annoys me is the lack of tab key on the keyboard as well as the size of the delete and return keys.
Zero calorie vitamin water tastes hellishly weird over here, leaves quite a harsh aftertaste...
iPad is going strong, I've been pretty addicted to the thing, there's no denying that at all. It's virtually perfect at doing everything I want it to do, the only thing that really annoys me is the lack of tab key on the keyboard as well as the size of the delete and return keys.
Zero calorie vitamin water tastes hellishly weird over here, leaves quite a harsh aftertaste...
Sunday, 9 May 2010
America
First iPad blog post from America! Well, it's not technically, but it's the first iPad blog post I've done on this blog! I'm loving the iPad, it's so amazing. I don't know how I lived without this thing. The display is simply incredible. I'll put up some photos of it later when I'm not so tired.
Update: after spending an entire day with the iPad, I can honestly say that from a mobile computing point of view it is virtually perfect. There are a few improvements that can be done to it, of course, but at the moment they're all software based things that can easily be changed. iPad is just simply amazing.
Update: after spending an entire day with the iPad, I can honestly say that from a mobile computing point of view it is virtually perfect. There are a few improvements that can be done to it, of course, but at the moment they're all software based things that can easily be changed. iPad is just simply amazing.
Friday, 7 May 2010
Goddamn Internet
Right now, I am typing this on my laptop, which is tethered to my Nexus One. Why's that you ask? Because for some reason the home broadband is down and thankfully HSDPA is a monster in this area, so I'm not really missing out in terms of speed!
Had a major screw up today, I didn't realise I needed to complete a US ETSA form 72 hours BEFORE my check in, so when I went to check in and it told me I couldn't, I was really starting to panic. Luckily, I completed one online and then it was approved straight away. So that was almost a monumental cock-up that was averted...
I'm all packed, I have all my spending money (plus an extra $200 from mum, thanks mum!), and all my stuff is ready to go. I have a really nice seat on the plane, it's right at the back by a window, so I should be left to my own devices and allowed to relax (as I have no-one else anywhere near me!)
Had a major screw up today, I didn't realise I needed to complete a US ETSA form 72 hours BEFORE my check in, so when I went to check in and it told me I couldn't, I was really starting to panic. Luckily, I completed one online and then it was approved straight away. So that was almost a monumental cock-up that was averted...
I'm all packed, I have all my spending money (plus an extra $200 from mum, thanks mum!), and all my stuff is ready to go. I have a really nice seat on the plane, it's right at the back by a window, so I should be left to my own devices and allowed to relax (as I have no-one else anywhere near me!)
2am...
It's 2am and I'm listening to a song by Bird York. In a little under 36 hours, I'll be on a plane on my way to Logan International Airport. It still hasn't sunk in.
Even though it hasn't sunk in, I'm excited, is it because I'm excited about the freedom I'll have of being on my own? (I know I won't be, but you know what I mean!) I think that's what I'm anticipating, but my excitement is fuelled by getting to be with Myriam again.
Right, bed for me, I think - enough blogging for today! I've just updated The Holiday Blog with a link to the (currently empty) album where my photos will sit. I will try and get some photos of the airport this time!
Even though it hasn't sunk in, I'm excited, is it because I'm excited about the freedom I'll have of being on my own? (I know I won't be, but you know what I mean!) I think that's what I'm anticipating, but my excitement is fuelled by getting to be with Myriam again.
Right, bed for me, I think - enough blogging for today! I've just updated The Holiday Blog with a link to the (currently empty) album where my photos will sit. I will try and get some photos of the airport this time!
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Freedom!
That's it, I'm now free from work until the 25th! America in two days! I am so excited right now, I can't believe it. I feel such as though such a weight has been lifted, knowing that for the next two weeks I'll be with Myriam and essentially free.
I've been tinkering with Steam, getting prepared for the Mac version next week. I have 23 games ranging from Half-Life to... Half-Life 2! So lots of choice there, haha!
Tomorrow's plan is to get some caramacs and to get the last scraping of spending money. Then once that's done I'll finish packing, make sure my case is underweight, make sure all my documents are in check, do the flight check-in online and then an early night to wake up fresh and early for the long trip to Heathrow!
Good god, I'm so excited!
I've been tinkering with Steam, getting prepared for the Mac version next week. I have 23 games ranging from Half-Life to... Half-Life 2! So lots of choice there, haha!
Tomorrow's plan is to get some caramacs and to get the last scraping of spending money. Then once that's done I'll finish packing, make sure my case is underweight, make sure all my documents are in check, do the flight check-in online and then an early night to wake up fresh and early for the long trip to Heathrow!
Good god, I'm so excited!
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